Healthy Service - Wednesday 13/07/11

Around midnight last night I received a call from a very tearful and lonely Emma. She missed us and desperately wanted my company. My heart felt her pain. The times I have spent in hospital have shown me how cruel a lonely night can be when you are unable to sleep. What really got me was when Emm sobbed that she didn't want me to come down in case I wasn't allowed in.
Good God. What rubbish. It hurt not only to hear it, but to wonder at the number of people who suffer because of 'visiting hours'.
I assured Emma that my entry was not in question. The NHS is exactly that. A health service. I shall order, and they shall serve.
I explained the plan to Frances who happily curled up in bed with the netbook watching Bambi II. Then I marched down to Emma rehearsing responses to a myriad of possible scenarios and challenges.
I knew it would be best to go for the jugular. And I was right.
I buzzed the intercom, a surprised voice replied. I said my name and that I was there as I understood Emma was in a state of distress. There were no questions. The doors parted.
As I walked down the corridor a nurse was hot footing it to Emma's room and was mortified to see the truth of my words.
A very sad and weeping Emma was crumpled over the baby in the lamplight. The nurse apologised and blurted she had no idea. I told her not to worry, all would be well.
A good time later the nurse returned to a calmer room and tried to coax me home. I had no intention of staying through the night, but I firmly made it clear I would not be leaving until Emma was happy and my presence no longer required. She got the message and let us be.
When I left I took the time to thank the nurse and made it clear she was not at fault. A good deal later (she was rather chatty) I slowly walked home to bed and a solidly sleeping Frances...
Today, baby and mother have come home and we begin the rest of our lives.
No one, bar the gods themselves, will ever separate us.

M Jones

Kiwi Suction - Sunday 10/07/11

At 04:02 this morning, after a long and painful labour, a little being was brought to this world through a Herculean effort on her mothers part (and probably hers too). This little life form weighed 7lbs and 8ozs and had to be literally dragged through the birth canal with the aid of a 'Kiwi suction cup'. She also managed to tie her umbilical chord around her neck, but she was fine.
I have sworn an oath of guardianship over this being though it may cost me my life. That same oath was sworn for her predecessor seven years ago. Through these two beings, I shall live on forever.
I wrote a card for Emma, it went like this -

"We love you Mummy,

We are all so very very proud of you. Everyone we know sends you endless blessings of love. You displayed incredible strength, bravery and trust. I feel that these stories are seemingly reserved for an illusory 'super breed' of elite human being, but you have proved the opposite to be true. The struggle you have triumphed over is an act worthy of the Gods themselves. Your trophy is a being. A being through whom you will be loved and live through forever. For the second time. Twice you have succeeded in nurturing and sustaining a being of beauty and love. If ever you doubt your true strength and power, remember this. I am eternally grateful that it is I you chose to honour and love you, our children, forever more.

We love you Mummy.

Daddy, Franny"

I also took the liberty of lifting some sensitive documents from the notes when they were given to us at Gloucester to take to Stroud. I hoped by lifting these documents that attested to the birth I could cut the Registry Office off at the source. I asked a midwife how it worked and she told me that Gloucester would have informed them. But I have the originals of the proof... This will enable us to obtain all the usual services gained through registration without registering. Doctors, Passport, Schooling (if needed) etc.

After leaving Emma at 19:00, Fran and I walked home. Fran, in her exhausted state quickly became very weepy and missed her mummy. Some snuggle with Nana and a Rupert Bear story, followed by a watch of Ice Age 3 and she was soon giggling her way to sleep.

What a day.

M Jones

Fearful Diameters - Friday 08/07/11

Things are progressing slowly. Emma has been feeling an array of emotions. Fear, depression, impatience, discomfort and confusion. I enjoyed a discussion with her about these last night. Many, if not all of these can be traced around her pregnancy and the inevitable birth. I think she's in competition with the cat who's due to give birth to her litter in two weeks. I don't think that really ha ha.
But I am fascinated in how a person arrives at this state. I don't profess to be above such a condition but I do believe I understand and recognise it. I reminded her of the facts as I perceive them.
Our baby will be born.
We are all here presently through our own choices and actions and therefore can leave at any time.
Due to other factors, predominantly transport, it is inconsequential when the baby is born. We are here until August at least. This can be changed, our time decreased or extended, but right now, it is what we have decided and arranged.
Her fear pertains to the baby's potential growth and size, size and I understand that completely. I often fear the diameter and weight of what exits my body. The largest I have experienced would be a pregnant woman's fantasy.
I hope our dialogue helped dispel the false 'problems' her mind constructed. I hope she feels better. Reassured.

M Jones

Kidney Bean - Wednesday 19/01/11

Had a welcome change of pace Monday. Emma was booked in for an ultrasound scan at Haverfordwest hospital. With the car insured for the day, we did our best to make the most of it and be as productive as possible. The appointment wasn't until 14:30, so we had a couple of hours of mooching in the town centre. Bought a few bits in various charity shops, then headed to the hospital. We were in and out within an hour or so, everything having gone smoothly, and came away with a picture of our kidney bean.

Next stop, top up shop at the supermarket. Kit arrived at the train station not long after and we gave him a ride home. Stopped in Clunderwen to pick up the last item - paraffin.
With the return of Kit has come a break in the weather. Sunshine and clear skies, forecast to prevail until Saturday.
It was an absolute pleasure to be back outside in glorious weather, marking out an orchard then constructing a woodshed. We didn't complete the shed as we ran out of light. And screws.
Sourced some screws from Simon D, so our job today is to finish off and perhaps even extend the woodshed. The clear skies resulted in a bitterly cold night, but as always, this had given us a beautiful crisp morning thankfully with more warm sunshine.

Andy and Janes unveiled house.

M Jones

The Death Of A Friend - Saturday 13/11/10

All around are the visible signs autumn is here and winter is approaching.
The recent high winds have dislodged the leaves that have died, and the trees now look skeletal and bare.
All this death will pave the way for rebirth. But death has come calling too close for comfort this year, seeing fit to end the life of a good friend of mine. At present, I know scant few details, but a man not living past his 24th winter is a sobering thought indeed. His loss has weighed heavy on my mind, occupying thoughts and clouding others.
If nothing else, I am reminded that whatever my reservations about having another baby are, he never got the chance to father one.
To my friend Keith Jefferies, who died 11/11/10

The message I wrote on his Facebook wall when I found out:

"I find this page extremely hard reading. It goes from friendly banter and chat concerning day to day life. Then posts of "get well soon". To Comiserations and Eulogies.

There's an anger inside me I can't direct.
There's a feeling of betrayal by the forces upon which I trusted and depend.
An anguish that an individual such as he, has gone where I cannot yet go.
Above all, there is a gut wrenching guilt. The guilt we all dread which cannot be assuaged by apology. But its an apology I will make anyway.

Keith. I am sorry I didn't give you more of my time. You gave me yours, and for that I will thank you eternally. Please forgive me.

My time will come, as yours has done. You have led and I shall follow. Knowing this I shall not fear death. Because I know you're waiting for me.

Til then Keith, I will miss you, and mourn your passing. We all will."

To his brother Mark, this message;

"My good friend Keith...

I went to school with Keith, a valued and trusted friend. I'm deeply shocked and saddened.

As a brothers love is so great as to be valued and cherished, his loss is all the more terrible and the grief that much more severe.

I am so sorry. Alot of people are thinking of you, in that take some comfort.

Whoever God is, may He bless you, and all your family."

M Jones

Munchman Flap Jacks - Sunday 05/09/10

Attended what i believe is called a 'Blessing Way'. From what i understand a pagan ceremony where the community comes together to bless the way for a baby to enter this world and come to being. Only caught half of it as the first couple of hours was for the women to get together and do what women do best i imagine. The part us men were invited to involved singing, washing the mother-to-be's feet and offering two beads and a candle. This culminated with a ball of wool being woven around the circle, which was then cut and tied around each individuals wrist. Not to be removed, until mother and baby returned safely back from hospital.
Crap weather forecast, so may continue updating the blog. Have enjoyed reading Katy and Leanders blog. Especially his humorous post about 'Munchman Flap Jacks'.

M Jones