1 Man, 1 Hunter, 1 Nomad.: Robin Goodfellow

Yesterday after jotting down a Diary entry, I continued in the same vein as Thursday doing whatever I felt moved me. I again visited Ayres, knowing he would be on his own and would perhaps welcome the company. Interestingly he was having a 'silent' day. Happy to listen, just not to speak, the stickers across his chest read. It seemed wrong to break the serenity, so we sat, climbed trees and swang on ropes and a rope swing. Finally, he gave me his iPod gesturing that I should listen to it. On it was Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment audio book. I closed my eyes and absorbed the words. I understood how the 'now' or present moment matters. How our inner purpose is whatever we happen to be doing and should be aligned with our inner purpose in order to bring true happiness and fulfilment.
It was with all these feelings in mind, that I demonstrated my desire to be treated, recognised and respected as the free and independent being I am and wish to be. I did this by having a cigarette. It caused Emma to exhibit ALOT of emotion and she disappeared for the afternoon. Did I feel guilty? No. I cannot own or be responsible for the feelings, thoughts, actions or deeds of any other being. I had realised, that in that moment, the only thing preventing me doing what moved me, was the thought and opinions of another.
I refuse to be ruled by any other than myself. Even if it is my partner. I explained my reasoning. At that time I also had no intention of returning to being a 'smoker'.
I believe that despite the upset, we have both benefited enormously.
To put it into context I shall quote Thoreau; "As if the sun should stop when he had kindled his fires upto the splendour of a moon or a star of the sixth magnitude, and go about like a Robin Goodfellow, peeping in at every cottage window, inspiring lunatics, and tainting meats, and making darkness visible, instead of steadily increasing his genial heat and beneficence till he is of such brightness that no mortal can look him in the face, and then, and in the mean while too, going about the world in his own orbit, doing it good, or rather, as a truer philosophy has discovered, the world going about him getting good".

To me this says, we are of the most benefit to others and ourselves, when we do that which moves us and when we follow our true genius.