Terrible Wind, And Limericks - Wednesday 17/11/10

Levelling Kits foundations 14/11/10

Slaked lime to be used in the mortar 14/11/10

Kits Lime Pit 14/11/10

Slightly squeeze a ketchup bottle then open it. I dare ya.

Am so tired, I nearly put off writing this entry. Am only doing so due to my horrendous short term memory.
Earlier this week I found two adverts for static caravans. One was a really cheap and shabby one on eBay. The auction was at £75 so I over generously put what I thought was a losing bid of £400. Problem was I won the damn thing. This of course happened before I was told it would cost £750 to transport! Being the auction had a couple of days to run, I continued looking and found one in Pencader, outside Carmarthen for £600. The photos were fantastic... The caravan wasn't. Neglected for five years, the gas safety certificate said it all. Next inspection due '07. Great.
Still, I rang down the list of transport companies the man had given me. £350, £300 plus vat etc etc. Being 12ft wide meant it required an escort, thereby bumping up the price considerably.
Thoroughly dejected we returned home. It was then that I received a belated reply from one of the companies. After a bit of chit chat, it transpired they were based a couple of miles away and had a static available. They wanted £1100 but with a bit of bargaining and mostly kindheartedness on his part, he agreed to not only sell but deliver it for £900! I said we'd take a look...
That night we went to bed very much encouraged. Unfortunately, it wasn't just our spirits that were high that night. After buffeting us steadily, at 05:00 the wind finally ripped up the awning and flung it over the caravan in an almighty cacophony of bending steel, tearing fabric, catapulted belongings, falling tables and finally a thump of sodden canvas slapped over the roof of the caravan.
Shit.
My first thought was... f**k it. I'll deal with it in the morning.
Until I realised canvas was smothering the chimney of our freshly stoked fire. Bollocks.
So out in to the roaring abyss I went to sort out one god awful mess and salvage whatever could be saved. Just doing the minimum took an hour with Ayres' help.

The Morning After.

The Battered Cowling.

Like the Titanic, I too could've avoided disaster...

Neither Al Qeada nor Hitler was responsible. Hard to believe I know.

Not the view I paid for...

Still, it sparked a limerick.

There once was a caravan in Wales,

That was subject to terrible gales,

They woke up one morning, minus an Awning,

With only an outline of Bales...

The most part of today was spent mopping up, and eventually re-erecting a rather poorly awning.

You've heard of that caravan in Wales,

That was subject to terrible gales,

Well the awnings back on,

The wind and rain have now gone,

And silenced the groans and the wails.

Job done I went to start the car ready for viewing the static. But there was more... prompting this message to Emma.

We own a small caravan in Wales,

About which people have heard many tales,

Please don't think me mean, or cause a scene,

But i've just found a crack in our windscreen.

I suspect a leak around the glass allowed water to freeze resulting in a vehicular form of frost heave.

Finally, we viewed this static.

Was in a small mess inside having just been transported. The big plus with this is it was in service on a holiday park until this summer. The only downside was a missing vent cap lost in transit had allowed water in the kitchen. Tomorrow the vendor is coming to approve our proposed transport route with the driver, before we commit to anything. If it gets the go ahead i'll be bloody relieved.

Relayed our woes to friends and family and received this reply from our old neighbour.

There once was a couple from Stroud,

Who decided to break from the crowd.

Although their new life,

was full of trouble and strife,

Of themselves they were very proud.

Although it contains an 'inside' joke, I couldn't resist a retort.

There once was an actor next door,

Whose performances left us in awe.

We do miss him so,

but we just had to go.

And hope he wears clothes a bit more.

So life is currently a rollercoaster of highs and lows right now. My day turned to night as I screwed the awning skirting into some logs reinforced with batons to prevent it shredding itself. knowing our luck right now, it will only serve to form a deadly volley of missiles smashing through our roof the next time God farts.

Aww well, one more limerick then bed.

For Nigel, my number one fan, who believes I should be crowned Lammas poet laureate.

We live just outside the Presellis,

To Narbeth we take all our smellies.

The wind is a pain, so is the rain,

If you come, you'd better bring wellies.

M Jones