Changing the Game - Monday 08/11/10

A game changing day. Emma had been feeling 'off' for the past few days. Being past her sell by date and having inclinations towards incubation, we took a trip to Crymych at 09:00 to get a pregnancy test.

The result was "Pregnant 3+"

A flurry of text messaging to random folk and an emergency meeting with Ayres and Marianne. Frances took it upon herself to spill the beans before we had a chance, and subsequently faced Emma's wrath.
A serious talk about the whole thing brought forth many ideas and potential possibilities, the main one being to consult Paul and Hoppi. Paul knows the ins and outs of both the planning and the leasehold agreements. therefore is it even feasible for Lammas to absorb another family? It was only designed and got permission for nine. We are looking for long term stability along the lines of 2-5 years. This being the case, i simply don't feel Lammas is the place. We do have an offer from another plotholder that would grants us that, but to accept this would fly in the face of rules and policies. As always one can manipulate such things but its definitely not a practice i wish to engage in.
Here's the truth. We have no right to be here. To remain beyond Spring would tread on toes and upset people we've come to hold dear, and whose generosity has known no bounds thus far. Once more i am writing lists of options and at this moment in time, here they are;

1) Remain in or near Lammas. kits plot verbally guaranteed for two years. Possibility of more living space in the form of a static caravan. Other options and possibilities could evolve from this, but mindful of aforementioned factors.

2) Tipi Valley. Plenty of experience in residents r.e. Homebirths. Poor access to lower valley - emergencies. Ideally a yurt to live in. Would entail logistics moving our life and home. Would be guaranteed for as many years as we'd require. We have visited and know people there.

3) Join a different community. Tinkers Bubble? Would be an unknown unless we used the time we have to make prior visits.

4) Go back home. Ideally rent/buy/get permission to reside on land in a caravan or yurt. Alot of unknowns.

5) Sell out and return to the system be it in Wales or back in Stroud. For me, the least desirable of all. Benefits could be seen as wide and numerous, but at a vast cost spiritually, morally and financially.

6) Squat on land. Extremely unstable. Many variables and unknowns. One important disadvantage, we'd be on our own...

7) Buy our own land. a big ask financially. would require major help from family. Unlikely in probability and unlikely to be finalised in time frame.

8) Wait and see...

Listing is useful. But inconclusive. Will follow option 8 for now. I feel immense pressure to properly lead this family, and lead it well. Its bewildering and overwhelming now. One realisation is that, at this point, nothing has changed. The considerations, yes. But as those who've read previously will know, the options haven't really changed. I've created a mental pressure that has left my stomach knotted and mind exhausted.
If anything, this news has become a catalyst.
Will have to ransom this grandchild if money is the answer.
Hopefully a good hour of football tonight will help clear this over active brain.


M Jones

Barley shoots growing from a bale weighting our awning down.

Mushrooms... Unmagical ones...

Options Options Options - Thursday 09/09/10

End of French drain that will hopefully feed a pond

Other end of the drain. Blue sacking to prevent soil slipping due to being a high traffic area.

Where dark and light gravel meet to give Sunrise/Sunset effect.

Building site so far.

Was pleased and eager to be outside today. So much so, i was out past 20:00. Worked until I could barely see and a wood chip jumped up and smacked me square in the eyeball. Called it quits after that.
11 hours take the time spent on the school run and taking the children to the language centre.
Parents are invited to learn Welsh too to aid their child's learning. I completely agree, however couldn't thinking "Yeah, but we won't be here that long..." So either we be here that long and commit to all the various initiatives, or we decide on what the hell we're doing with regards to the next place we're going. If its in England, then perhaps its not productive use of our time. Although I'm all for not only us, but Frances learning Welsh, we have so many options and therein lies the problem.
Here are the options as i see them;


1)Leave in October for a place like Tinkers Bubble, where we can settle, or at least stay for the foreseeable future.

2) Stay at Lammas for as long as we're able, risking outstaying our welcome.

3) Buying land locally with the help of parents and replicating what Lammas have done. Either on our own or preferably with a group of others,

4) Buying land in England most likely a derelict farmstead and blazing a trail, again like Lammas. This would require substantial fund raising, but anything is possible.

5) Go WWOOFING

There are of course other factors to consider. Option 3 would be good if done close to Frans existing school which she very much enjoys.
There are 14 acres for sale for around £65000 with woodland, however thats alot to manage on your own. Plus would only support 2 other families max. A very intimate community... The reality is that it would be further away. Slightly negating that option, but leads to yet another. Am so confused am going to talk to Paul tomorrow in the hope he can impart some wisdom from experience to aid my decision.
I guess this has all come about predominantly through an attack of conscience .
Our daughter has no control and is bound to follow us, her parents. I therefore feel honour and duty bound to ensure we still provide her with the best possible life that agrees with all of us. That will take compromise. But one thing i know for sure, the only definite I have is we will NOT return to 9-5's and 'the system' or the 'Matrix' as one guy called it. Hehe.

M Jones

Tinkers Bubble - Wednesday 08/09/10

Mist hanging in the valley.

Cool date! No work due to weather. Finished reading Earth-Sheltered Houses which i borrowed from Simon D. Interesting, but the author uses far too many modern materials and cop outs for my liking. The techniques are good though as well as the explanations and illustrations.
Ayres went off to collect his mother from Cardiff. Exciting stuff as she's coming from California!
Have been researching our options and looked more at Tinkers Bubble in Somerset. Seems like a definite possibility. Am mindful of the distance and the fact there are so many communities here in Wales that it would be silly to leave and come back. Would be useful to spend a rainy Saturday/Sunday visiting local places.

M Jones