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The Fearless and the Free - Sunday 23rd December 2012

The dust may have settled after our eviction. The indignation, upset and turmoil may have passed. Yet all is not well.
My little family and I are living under anothers roof, and this has its challenges.
Presently for me, the most difficult aspect to face, and hardest to admit, is the grief and ongoing pain that bites my core. Deep within my heart and soul there is a yearning, a mourning, not for the past nor the life that was taken, but for my perceived loss of connection with the outdoors. There I resonate and rejoice with all that surrounds me. In nature, amongst the fields and trees is where I see, where I feel life and can sense the aliveness in me, a reflection, for it is there the divine resides.  

"Split a piece of wood and I am there, lift a stone and Ye shall find me". 

- Gospel Of Thomas

Though it may still be found here in the urban jungle, the tarmac, the concrete and stone all conspire to hide it. Man's manipulation and vulgar disfigurement of the surface of this perfect Earth, this Eden if we would only see it, strikes my heart with division, angst and sorrow.
But I will not suffer more than I am willing. Whilst misery is certainly an option and arguably the easiest, I do not like it much. Especially as I received a tip off regarding a potential site for our caravan yesterday, so today I laced my boots and set out to scout the possibilities.
My first visit was to a council house, one that is vacant and being offered to those on the housing list.


Quite clearly a work in progress, but what I saw strengthened my desire to reconnoitre the alternative.

The miles I covered surrounded by the green of the rolling fields and trees of the woodlands soothed and invigorated my spirit, reminding me of what I missed and what I sought so dearly.

I paused amongst the trees to shed a layer or two and it was as I did so that I witnessed what I think were two Roe deer come bounding in my direction from the undergrowth.

Only one of the Roe Deer paused long enough for me to snap a picture.
Deer never fail to evoke a 'wow'. They are just such majestic creatures it is always an honour to witness them. I took their presence to be a good sign and omen.

Not long after, I located and arrived at my destination.

A long abandoned rabbit farm, comprising of three derelict buildings upon approximately 1.5-2 acres of land.

This place had serious potential!

30m-50m long shed. Private rifle range?! (After a clear out)


The idea would be to get the place back up and running as a smallholding. This time the rightful and recognised owner, though evidently neglectful, has been traced and the opportunity here so great I intend to propose leasing the premises. I have big plans and visions of happiness here not solely based on the land and buildings but also due to the expansive fields and agricultural land that surrounds it. I am confident that permission to hunt could be secured.

In all, my trip today has gifted me focus, drive and determination with a clear plan and vision ahead. I have been certain something would materialise, and by networking with others and putting the word out, that faith has been rewarded.

'Let a great Assembly be
Of the fearless and the free
On some spot of English ground
Where the plains stretch wide around.

'Ye who suffer woes untold,
Or to feel, or to behold
Your lost country bought and sold
With a price of blood and gold -

'Let a vast assembly be,
And with great solemnity
Declare with measured words that ye
Are, as God has made ye, free.

- Percy Bysshe Shelley - The Masque of Anarchy


  1. I cant for the life of me understand what's got into your head and done some damage to part of your brain.OK,I can see the reasoning behind living off the land. But you have a growing family to look after,to guide,to provide for,to protect,these are the main building blocks to family life not just one living an adventure according to his rules,he's fantasies.

    1. Thank you for your comment and input Silas.

      Though it would appear a figure of speech, but it has been interesting for me to note that the most radical of changes made in our lives came about after I did in fact suffer a serious head injury, my life saved by a surgical procedure similar to that of Stone Age trepanning.

      It is therefore accurate to say my head has been shaped, moulded, even damaged not only physically but psychologically. I do not refer solely to injury but to society, events in my life story, cultural as well as physical influences.
      Are we all not 'damaged' in our own unique ways?

      I see the truth to which your words point, I believe that what we hold to be a man certainly does have the duties listed. If he is not mindful of the whole and navigates his clan ruthlessly to shores for his own desires, he may, at best, well find himself alone on a desert island. At worst suffering and misery will befall all.

      Through careful consideration and open communication with my 'mate' I know this not the case. The desires I hold are shared, though possibly fostered and adopted by my life companions.

      The confusion, concern, even condemnation voiced by many is understandable, this path is no longer well trodden. It could be seen as fraught with risk. But I feel no more so than the accepted western way. The dangers and pitfalls are no less. The fantasies are arguably less deluded than the most popular of our time.
      I do not seek a life of monetary riches, wealth and the endless consumption that accompanies it. My star may not be the same that others follow, but I am not lost. In fact, I have never been more certain of, or at ease with, my way.
      Family life is, for me, a part of the great adventure.
      I will never fail in my duties to my family. My little tribe, my pack, my clan. Whilst I breathe they shall always be looked after, guided, provided for and protected.

      Thank you again Silas, good luck on your own journey!

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