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An Ultimate Curse? - Friday 24/06/11

I couldn't help but feel disappointed when I discovered the source of yesterdays mysterious deposit. Working Tax Credits. I did have to text a friend to correct my mistake and assumption, but I had been sensible enough at the time to say I was awaiting proof to support my theory. I may not have come by the money through the process I expected but I have, nevertheless, come by the amount I believed we needed.
This leaves me feeling that to continue to fight the bank is not necessary now my needs have been met. At the same time I feel I do need to fight for what I believe I am 'owed' by them. But is that the ego? Or is that feeling stemming form a need to satisfy a curiousity and prove a theory?
The other way of looking at it is I have been provided with the exact amount required to file a 'winding up' petition. £1190. Including penalties for breaches of agreement, the bank 'owes' me £21000. But the principal amount is £1000. If I am mistaken, the worst outcome is that I could be the one declared bankrupt (not really a problem). The middle mark - that I get awarded £1072.79 (including statutory penalty and statutory interest).
£1190 to be awarded £1000. That sounds like the insane behaviourof the very people and mindset to which I am opposed.
Yes, I know, I would be awarded the £1190 as costs on top of the principal, but inside, I am concious of not getting sucked into the terrible monetary-market hell.

On a real life level, today we took a bus ride to where we used to live as Fran's old school was having their annual sports day. A very strange feeling of having come full circle. This time last year we did the same thing. But this time it was for Fran to relive fond memories that she has been recalling for a year.
I believe that when we departed last year, she thought she'd find the same school but in Wales. I imagine the truth and the pain she might have felt from that, would have been quite heart wrenching.
Looking around, I saw the older looking faces of the other parents. The same beings that I had stood beside at 'home time' day after day in my previous life. And still, here they were. Probably believing no other alternative exists. One woman told me this was the tenth year she had been here watching her children. I was shocked.
I often thought that tributes and testiments to the power of human endurance and of the human spirit were only to be found in the harshest and most terrible of places. Wars, torture, survival stories in nature.
But no. It can be found in the churches, the offices, the factories, the homes and the school playgrounds.
Emma relayed a recent story gleened through women's gossip about a local couple who had been having financial difficulties. They had bickered and argued for a couple of weeks until she came home five minutes before the children to discover her partner dead, hanging from the beams over the stairs. I was not shocked. I'd visited that dark place of the mind often myself.
My sadness is that, in my opinion, he had never really lived.
My realisation after, was, as tragic as that story is, far worse is being inflicted by our Government and Society on far more.

The sooner I leave this dark, mad world that people term as 'civilised' the better. When in human history, has civilisation ever been less than an ultimate curse?

Fran Surrounded By Chums.

M Jones

Surprising Events- Thursday 23/06/11

A surprising turn of events. Whilst printing a letter out for Emma I checked my bank account balance online. Blow me down if I didn't have over £1200 mysteriously deposited in cleared funds. Mysteriously, but only slightly. I am 99% sure it was paid by my bank. How I did this has been recorded both in hard copies and online. A sanitised paper trail is online here .

Sadly, the Series 3 Land Rover the money was intended for has been sold. I say sadly but it isn't sad. I believe we weren't meant to have it. If the universe approves we shall instead 'buy' a brand new Land Rover Defender.

To celebrate my success I treated my family and Emma's mum to some treats at a local cafe. Despite having the entire process of how I had created the money, Emma's mum still couldn't help but protest at how much it cost. Cost? that implied that I had lost or parted with something I owned. I laughed.

You May Kill A Man, But You'd Better Kill His Name First.

M Jones

Past Self - Tuesday 21/06/11

Thankfully, my perception is changing. That is of course, my perception of my perception. I felt a change after reading this diary. By re-reading the words written by my past self, I was able to reconnect somewhat to the place I was when I wrote them. The value and importance of recording my activities and musing has, in my mind, increased dramatically and has strengthened my resolve to continue it.

The Sun Setting On The Solstice

Quod Bonum Est Tenate - Monday 20/06/11

Nine days ago I was truly on a high. Presented with a fantastic opportunity to research, gain empowering knowledge and then put it into practice. I crossed swords with my bank, saw off debt collectors and went about planning an ambitious stunt involving a new car.
Then I drank some beers Saturday night and I haven't been the same.
Disconnected. Disjointed. Frustrated and lost. I had known my time here would be challenging. The protection of my well being was at stake. By allowing myself to slip under the waves, I now face an uphill struggle to re-gain what I knew could be lost.
If I do not handle this properly, I face a very dark time ahead.
I am reminding  myself of the logic that brought me back to a world of shitting in drinking water. But the thinking behind the phrase "a means to an end" is flawed. It can be the same reasoning used by governments to justify murder.
I have, under this pretext, returned to a world I know to be unnatural. Even unholy. The road to hell really is paved with good intentions. I came here with good intentions, I now find myself in a hell.
Herein is the issue with which I have wrestled my entire life. I know it is my perception that makes life for me "hell". I could change this perception, or I could change my life.
For now, I will change my perception for, like it or not, my life will change of its own accord. Babies do that. Shortly after my second child's birth we will return to Lammas. My preferred reality. Where life is natural.

Where water is holy and used for drinking.

M Jones

Soul Soothing - Saturday 11/06/11

The Fallacy Of The Monetary Market System.
"The majority of our society appears to choose to engage in a practice whereby an individual will attempt to convert their labour into currency, then currency into the very thing their labour could have produced. This practice is exploited by government and corporations. It's inevitable inefficiency exacerbated by numerous 'taxes' including, but not limited to, inflation and interest." - Mike Jones

About 11:00 Emma said "Right let's go!" So we did. Out of the town and into the woods then on to Swifts Hill. The sights, the smells, the sounds. They soothed my soul.

Later, I couldn't help but recall the little dip I experienced at Lammas whilst reading Walden.
Utilising the wonderful phenomenon that is hindsight/retrospect, I believe I can clearly identify the ingredients of my state of distress. I wanted what Thoreau had. Whilst stuck in the paradigm that had me believing my potential was confined within rules and boundaries, it is completely understandable.
I believe that herein lies the source of many peoples pains and resultant 'misery'.
My salvation has come through realisation and understanding of my power to bend , break and create those very same 'rules'.
There is only one law aside from those of nature. Do not cause harm, injury or loss to any other being.
Under this one law we can live up to our otherwise limitless potential. Should we choose instead to be governed by the sixty million odd statutes, we will find this limitless creativity and freedom, limited. Simple huh?

If your reality is not to your liking, recognise firstly that it is you who created it and perpetuates it. By this line of logic, it stands to reason that you can end and destroy it. The poor unenlightened beings whose ranks once included myself, mistakenly jump to the conclusion of suicide. That is definitely not what I am advising. Quite the opposite. What is the opposite of death and dying? Life and living.

Don't like your job? Stop doing it. Don't see your partner and/or children enough? Change that if you and they want the same thing, namely each others company. Don't think those two simple examples are possible? Why not? Where is your evidence? My chosen reality is my evidence and I believe proof.
Look around you. Where are the gun men? Can't see any? So where does your fear lie? I think you and I both know that answer. Money is where your fear lies. More accurately your fear of a lack of it.
You believe that a lack of money means you will die. You believe it is a lack of money that is killing people in the distant and removed "third world". Rubbish.
Aside form possible blame lying with the actions of the same government that supposedly acts in your name and interests, the truth is far more simple.
Death results from a lack of food/water and/or adequate shelter and/or ill health and/or inflicted harm/abuse and/or a foul mixture of the above.
These people who are dying from AIDS are not dying because the drugs are not available...
Enforced poverty is the deadliest form of violence combined with a population conditioned to believe, and die, resulting from the false idea they need money.
The same applies the world over. Why do pensioners freeze to death each winter in Britain, a resource rich country, when trees and fuel grow in their gardens and outside their homes? Heat could be generated, better still, shared.
Why do children as well as grown adults starve to death in this country?
If I ever found myself in that scenario my family and I would be in Tesco filling our faces. Sure, the corporation slaves might get upset. They might call the corporations henchmen and will enforcers otherwise known as "Her Majesty's Police Force". God bless em those lovely people would inadvertently or otherwise provide us with state funded food, shelter, even clothing!

So there you have it. Identify, analyse and attempt to find hard solid evidence, initially to support your "fears".
What I believe you will find after your identification and analysis is that once you break down your fears into actual effects and ramifications, it will be more difficult to prove your fears than it is to disprove them. I could be wrong. I speak only form my experience. Try it. What have you, or I, got to lose?
More to the point, and here is an infinitely more important question;

What have you and I got to gain?

A Bodger's Workshop.

Banking On The Seat Of My Pants - Thursday 09/06/11

I have been engaged in a most interesting dialogue with my Bank. It would appear a banker's draft I paid in last Friday was magically imbued with chameleon like abilities. Abilities so convincing, that to begin with, it became invisible to the naked eye! So invisible that two 'advisers' signed to say the envelope was empty upon inspection.
It would appear however that its powers have faded to mere shape shifting as today I received a call to say that in fact a "slip" was present, but it lacked a sort code and account number. Unfortunately for my bank, this cheeky legal document is still redeemable despite the above, and I am nevertheless owed the amount it is drawn to.
During a morning telephone call I was asked if I might be available around 13:00/14:00 to meet with the 'local director'. On my way into town my gut instinct flickered and I felt that whilst guilty of no wrongdoing, to enter the bank that day would be most unwise. This profoundly confused me. Surely, my head said, it was in my interest to attend. I was not the one in the wrong. I was the injured party...
I decided to ask for a sign that would persuade me what was best.
Later, as I walked past a church window, I saw in my periphery an open book on display. A King James Bible. My intuition said to go back and read the page displayed.
It was clear what was meant to be read as a diagonally positioned paper clip on the page seemed to point to it.
Mark XV 16 - "And the soldiers led him away into the hall, called Praetorium; and they call together the whole band."
Who knows what that really meant regarding my situation, by my interpretation I was warned of the likelihood of unlawful and wrongful arrest.
I did not enter my bank that day.

Very Sad To Recognise A Fallen Soldier In The Paper. I Trained With Martin Lamb Back In 2003. Rest Easy My Friend.

Being Watched From On High.

Now I Love "Kev" The New Security Guard, But I Do Worry About Him. He's Always Cheerful And Welcoming, But How Long Until The Store Realise His Appalling Detection And Arrest Rate?

M Jones

When The Realisation Becomes Knowing - Saturday 04/06/11

Thursday night Emma had contractions. This made her aware of how unprepared she perceived herself to be.
Consequently, the next day she did what was necessary to change that. She believes herself now to be ready, and the contractions have passed.

Tuesday night and Wednesday night I did not sleep. The truth I am realising and coming to terms with was too powerful. My heart was pounding for nearly 72 hours. Finally, as the realisation turned to knowing, my soul settled and last night I slept.
My heart 'pounding' so fast was, I believe, a physical reaction by my body of the truth resonating with my inner being. Each new realisation still brings me flutters, but once it becomes knowing, it passes.

Spotted An Unloved Bike Generator In A Neighbours Garden.

Fran Needed A New Bike. So She Made It Happen. (Sure, With Our Help, But That's What We're Here For.)

The Building That Was Barclays. Now I'm All For The Banks Shutting Down, But Are Shoe Shops The Answer?

The Consumer Drones Enjoying Their Shopping Experience.

M Jones

The Power Of Truth - Tuesday 31/05/11

Sometimes in the depths of darkness, one must wait until ones eyes adjust before attempting to see your way out. Stop. Breath. Trust in yourself and your universal power. Know the blindness cannot last forever and soon you shall be free.
I've learned this from recent experience. Since my last entry I followed my intuition. My gut instinct. It told me to research, gain knowledge. Realise and grasp the opportunity which I am presented through the present outcome of my own choices and actions. For that is what 'fate' truly is. I studied videos, read material and digested the information they held.
And now I can see how free I have been, and how truly free I can and will be. If you wish to follow, do as I did and do so with your mind open. Read the books I have read and recorded in this journal. Watch as many if not all the videos hosted on the following youtube channels:

Most importantly, read this free ebook HOW I CLOBBERED. EVERY BUREAUCRATIC. CASH-CONFISCATORY AGENCY. KNOWN TO MAN by Mary Croft. Print it out if you have to.

The knowledge I have gained has my heart racing. Truth so powerful it not only resonates with my 'inner' being, it sets it ablaze. In simple terms, I am constantly re-watching the end of 'The Sixth Sense' and each time being hit by that mind buckling sensation as the pieces fall into place and the underlying story is revealed. The story within the story. The realisation that you watched it, perhaps even knew somewhere in your mind the truth that was always lurking behind it, but couldn't quite put your finger on it until someone did it for you.

After you have done as I advise. Play Monopoly. Re-watch 'The Matrix'. Things will never be the same again. You simply cannot go back.

"Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?" Cypher - The Matrix.

Fran Was Adamant She Could Not Go Down The Fireman's Pole. She Proved Herself Wrong.

Hormone Crazed Pregnant Lady Makes One God Awful Sandwich.

Lard. Butter. Was Bloody Relieved It Was Given To The Badgers!

The Trauma Of Change - Sunday 29/05/11

Now life is boring. Worse than that, harrowing. Four days ago, I had over 1076 acres of land to roam on. Now I have barely a quarter of one. Not even the park can sooth the sadness in my heart.
We saw more police cars on the short walk back than I have seen over the past year living where we do in Wales.
Frances is miserable. The few children playing outside appear difficult for her to connect with. In all honesty, I don't want her playing with such drones. Filled with McDonalds and Nickolodean they are junior consumers in the making. Or are they? The innocence that remains in them may be the most precious nugget of beauty left in this urban jungle.
At the park I wandered away from the manicured zone of half inch grass to the wild and tangled border of the hedgerow. Here I sought familiar beings but even the hawthorn is not the same. Already carrying berries, they are ahead of their welsh cousins and alien to me. Amongst them, species I don't recognise nor wish to familiarise myself with. I should. I may given time.
I found a lone ash tree, and my heart tore as I saw the scars and disfigured trunk. Half its height stripped of bark. Wood naked, cracked and stained. I failed to hold back the tear that rolled from my eye and down my cheek. It was I that became wounded. I who cried in pain. That tree sought no pity. Instead shoots were emerging, life's unstoppable force leaking through its cuts.

My muse has left me. I can write no more today.

Pooky Coming To Terms With Her New Environment.

M Jones

A Stress Free Ride - Friday 27/05/11

Wednesday morning Emma had what the midwife told her was a 'show'. I can't bear to go into details. Girls are gross.
Basically it could be a sign of the beginning of the end of her pregnancy. So to play it safe we decided it made little difference to leave Lammas a couple of days early and go back to Stroud.
The aim was to leave around 13:00 on Thursday after Emma had had a small "Blessing Way" held for her up at Jasmine's. Whilst she was blessing, I was messing. A large tidy up was in order and I took a trailer load of rubbish to the tip.
Just before I left, Nigel popped round to wish us well and I told him about my schizophrenic indicator. He advised a blitz of WD40 everywhere. That fixed it! Damp in the stalk I reckon.
Anyways, we didn't leave until gone 15:00, but not a problem as we had no time constraints. Just as bloody well too.
Outside Cardiff our truck threw a wobbly. Understandably too I suppose. Neglected for months and then thrown along at motorway speeds. I wouldn't be happy either.
The first sign was a drop in oil pressure and as I pulled in at the services I noticed my left foot was unusually warm. Not good.
An oil check said it was full but I remembered the mystery of the disappearing oil from Christmas so chucked in 5 litres of very expensive (£39.99!) dino blood. I remarked to Emma that I'd never heard of anyone damaging an engine by having too much oil in it. I have now. I have damaged an engine by putting to much oil in it!
Pulled back onto the motorway and she got very upset. The engine accelerated on its own and after dipping the clutch it went wild. Smoke was billowing out of the back as the hazards went on and I pulled onto the hard shoulder.
"Abandon ship!" says I. Fran struggled with her seat belt but Em was there in a flash. Despite removing the keys from the ignition the engine was igniting itself and racing. When I lost sight of Emma and Frances I was puzzled and realised they had gone down wind. I bellowed for them to come to me and guided them to a safe distance away and high up the wooded bank.
Before I had a chance to whip out my phone, two police bikes rocked up hotly pursued by two fire engines. The exhaust was still churning out thick smoke but this died off as the firemen approached. So they buggered off.
The policeman was pretty amicable but when he asked if I had insurance as it wasn't 'showing up' I chose my words carefully. I explained we insured it daily and he left it at that. I was not in the mood for revenue collection and he must have sensed it. So he too buggered off.
Although I'd rung the AA, an RAC low-loader pulled up and offered to take us to a safe location. I'm not ashamed to say my response was "How much?". God bless him he did it for free. Almost. We ended up with a years super deluxe cover and a £75 surcharge for the onward tow. Don't get me wrong I was bloody grateful! £75 was actually a small price to pay and by 21:00 we were glad to arrive at our destination.
T'would appear I have another 4x4 in need of a new head gasket. So much for fearing boredom!
I would love to do it myself. It can be a project and an educational experience but if possible I'd like to find a teacher. The parts should come in under £100 by the looks of things but after having a look this morning it appears daunting to say the least.
I have posted an SOS on the Freeconomy forum and will be interested to see what response it gets.
I would rather not have to get a job to pay someone else to do it, as it that wouldn't be very educational...
I am both surprised and conscious at how at peace I find myself. Even staring at our vehicle as it looked about to burst into flames, I was at peace. I trusted the gods implicitly at that and indeed this moment. There are simply so many possible positive outcomes, and I assure you that is not me deluding myself with sickly glass half full stuff...
The family is now covered in the event of a breakdown for a year.
We could sell a car we rarely use and put the money towards bikes. I could try and fix the car and, success or failure, learn something.
These are just a couple of things that jump out and I know there are certainly some others that will emerge and transpire.
One thing is for certain, this life is not boring.

Car Being Dropped Off At The Services.

Did Not Forget To Notice The Beauty Exhibited Around Us
M Jones

And In The Darkness Bind Them - Sunday 22/05/11

The considerations of how to satisfy the laws that 'allow' our car to be on the road for another year present a puzzle. With the added factors surrounding our imminent return to Stroud, I needed a walk. Walking the way I did via the same route as nearly a week prior gave me valuable thinking time. It also increased my chances of running into the landowner who disputes access along the drovers path.
I videoed a conversation between myself and a chap who claimed to own land close by. This individual eventually conceded and told me I was free to continue over the land in question provided I shut the gate and "didn't tell anyone". Well I told people. I showed the video to Paul W as this man said he would be contacting him, so I wanted Paul to be furnished with the facts.

After viewing the recording Paul told me that that man was not in fact the owner of the land over which the path runs.
This was most interesting.
This person therefore had neither the power to stop me, nor grant permission for me to proceed. It definitely pays to never make assumptions, never reveal your identity and never grant power over you to another being. I strongly recommend everyone read Standing Under Freedom By TheAntiTerrorist and apply the "am I obliged to answer that question" procedure.

During my thinking time I amused myself greatly by drawing an analogy between money and the 'Ring Of Power' from J.R.R Tolkien's The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.
This jumped out at me when I experienced that heart stopping moment of forgetting which pocket my money was in. Just like Frodo and Gollum, I felt the need to know where "my precious" was and touch it for reassurance.
We are all Gollums when it comes to money. The Ring Of Power (the circular pound coin) uses us, drains us and ultimately will destroy us as it seeks to return to it master(s). We are all increasingly being gazed upon by 'the all seeing eye'. The corporations and banks can be viewed much like wizards who act on behalf of the "Dark Lord Sauron". Google is in fact the 'eye of Sauron', it looks both ways. Records what you do and before long knows your deepest darkest secrets, even your thoughts.
As the One contains the Many, and the Many contain the One, the ring of power is also seen in the cycle of money. From its creation to its ultimate return back to the banks and its creator.

"One Ring to rule them all,
One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all,
and in the Darkness bind them" 
- J.R.R Tolkien

Gandalf The White and Gandalf The Grey.
M Jones