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Quod Bonum Est Tenate - Monday 20/06/11

Nine days ago I was truly on a high. Presented with a fantastic opportunity to research, gain empowering knowledge and then put it into practice. I crossed swords with my bank, saw off debt collectors and went about planning an ambitious stunt involving a new car.
Then I drank some beers Saturday night and I haven't been the same.
Disconnected. Disjointed. Frustrated and lost. I had known my time here would be challenging. The protection of my well being was at stake. By allowing myself to slip under the waves, I now face an uphill struggle to re-gain what I knew could be lost.
If I do not handle this properly, I face a very dark time ahead.
I am reminding  myself of the logic that brought me back to a world of shitting in drinking water. But the thinking behind the phrase "a means to an end" is flawed. It can be the same reasoning used by governments to justify murder.
I have, under this pretext, returned to a world I know to be unnatural. Even unholy. The road to hell really is paved with good intentions. I came here with good intentions, I now find myself in a hell.
Herein is the issue with which I have wrestled my entire life. I know it is my perception that makes life for me "hell". I could change this perception, or I could change my life.
For now, I will change my perception for, like it or not, my life will change of its own accord. Babies do that. Shortly after my second child's birth we will return to Lammas. My preferred reality. Where life is natural.

Where water is holy and used for drinking.

M Jones

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