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Have Faith, Have Hope - Sunday 24/04/11

I really put the fishing rod to use, almost and entire day of fishing. I've come to view it almost in the same light as gambling. A promise and the excitement of a big payout or prize at the cost of something. In this case a day of my life. Fishing also failed to leave me too dejected despite coming home empty handed.

Easter Sunday. Resurrection. Life beginning anew and a fresh. I do have that feeling about the situation we find ourselves in.
We are leaving here in just over a months time. Until Kits return and we have a sit down chat, we don't really know anything beyond there. The birth of our second child could send any plans awry and be a catalyst for something else. Regardless of the uncertainty that perpetually lies ahead, I am at peace. The fearful future is of no consequence to me. I know that when Now comes, then will be the time to do. Do whatever needs doing.
I won't dwell on, but I would like to reflect upon our past 10 or so months here at Lammas. It has been our net after we left into the unknown. The inhabitants here have each held out hands to cushion the landing. Is that what they meant by 'Low Impact'? That thought makes me smile. Ayres and Marianne had a big role in our early time here for which I am eternally grateful. Kit and Saara have been equally generous and even in their absence I thank them both deeply for the lessons I have learnt whilst stewarding their land. Working with Kit has been greatly educational and enjoyable.
I am immensely excited about the position we're in and the immeasurable opportunities open to us. Where will we be if not here? I don't know GPS co-ordinates, but I do know it will be a place of our choosing. The reality, of our creation. A heaven to me could be hell for another, so in a family concessions and compromises need to be made.
I have faith. I have hope. And so should anyone.

Hot Cross Bun and Easter Nest Making.

Keiran Making His Mark.

A New Privacy Screen.

Cap'n Van Winkle After a Spot Of Chainsaw Fishing.

M Jones

Cardigan, Cilgerran, Castles And Coracles - Friday 22/04/11

After doing "that which moved me" all week, I felt it was time my little family enjoyed a bit of movement too. To that end, we insured the Iron Horse and took a ride to Cardigan, Poppit Sands and then Cilgerran.
Emma had been given money by her mother and grandmother to treat Fran, so of course a walk to Yum Yums was in order.
As no one was going to treat me, I treated myself. To a fishing rod. (I'll admit to the white lie, Emma bought me some black Crocs).
After picking up the bicycle and buying a replacement indicator bulb (ours was on the 'blink') we let Fran loose on Poppit Sands.
By 14:00 however, the beach was filling up and I'd had enough.
Nearly every time we've returned from Cardigan I've seen a sign for Cilgerran Castle and each time thought it'd be worth a visit. So we did. I was wrong, it wasn't worth a visit. Not for £3.20 each or £9.20 for a family ticket. We saw nearly all of it by walking the public footpath along the perimeter. It was whilst doing this that I noticed another sign pointing to the 'Coracle Centre'. Again a bit disappointing as it was merely a block of toilets with information boards. That is not to say we were upset, definitely not, the weather was superb and the walk was most enjoyable.

M Jones

The Labour Exchange - Thursday 21/04/11

Exchanged labour with Ayres this morning. We loaded a trailer load of his wood from the quarry, and in exchange for using my truck, he helped load a trailer of my (Kits) wood and gave me some bio-diesel.
I was sorely disappointed my air rifle was not delivered as promised yesterday evening. So I did something about it.
I cycled the 13 miles to Cardigan to pick it up, prepared to cycle back with the rifle in an army canvas sausage bag. Trouble was, the rifle box was massive. I think the shop owner appreciated the trouble I'd gone to and drove me home! I left the bike and lock with him and I'll pick it up tomorrow on our day out. Needless to say I was very appreciative.
The ride there was daunting but by god it was incredible, much like the ride I'd done the day before only better.
It's all about the journey baby!

The Dream, Manifested!

M Jones

A Childs Dream - Wednesday 20/04/11

We are enjoying an extraordinary run of glorious weather. Spent yesterday with Jude, Emma and a volunteer called Andy. We tried to erect a yurt. This yurt demanded we listen to it and would not yield to any command in the same fashion of an unbroken horse. We started at 14:00. By 18:15 I was too tired to carry on.

Nick jumped out on us from his caravan to pass on the news. Kits son has been born by caesarean section and is healthy and well. Well done Saara!

Throughout the colder months we talked of the need to get some bikes and get out cycling. Only today did I realise I had that opportunity thanks to a bicycle kit said we could use. So I went pedalling. Went pedalling nowhere particular with no timetable and it was fantastic. I covered a fair distance in the end and at different points experienced profound joy. Happiness so strong at times I laughed. I also saw things I couldn't have seen whilst driving. We travel too fast and thus it demands much concentration. I saw awe inspiring and beautiful details in the landscape, the hedgerows, the fields and even the roads themselves. I don't know why but there appears to be an awful lot of gloves littering these country lanes...
When my journey ended, my body felt no form of exertion. I could have been asleep for two hours. I was reminded of the energetic days of my childhood, when running or cycling meant nothing to my muscles. If anything I felt energised after exercise.
I am a child. A child who slept and dreamed a dream of what it could be like to be a boring adult.
This child is waking up.
This child vows to never be lulled to sleep like that again.

Purple Sprouting Broccoli Already Going To Flower.

What's The Time Mr Wolf?

M Jones

Renegotiate - Thursday 19/04/11

I have continued to endeavour to pay attention to, and do, that which moves me. The hardest times are when I have bound myself to another person and thereby to my honour. In yesterdays case, helping another plotholder. Hard does not mean unpleasant in this instance, indeed it never does mean unpleasant. It stands to reason that when doing the bidding of someone else, you are not free to do the bidding of yourself. I was happy nonetheless. It was an arrangement of my choosing. I was bolstered in this happiness when I stayed aware that I was warm, fed, and dry. An important checklist!
If I ask myself why then couldn't I do this in the past in employment and remained there contented? Well, thats easy, I would've been kidding myself. "Truth is that which resonates with the inner being" - Eckhart Tolle. I might have been warm, fed and dry, but at the time I wanted more. My choices of employment sometimes meant that whilst working I was none of the above! I certainly did not want to be bound to a contract that no longer felt of benefit to me. If a trade is perceived unfair, we renegotiate and so, when my trade of labour cost forty hours of my precious week and the compensation felt to be inadequate, its time to renegotiate or cancel.

My air rifle has still not been delivered. After ringing to ask when it would be, I was told by the driver it was not possible until Wednesday evening. What bollocks. I've decided that when he arrives I shall exercise my rights to the full. Documenting any visible scrape to the product or packaging. Actually testing the rifle in front of him before signing what he wants, and by his laws needs me to sign. Needless to say, this will take time. I predict that he will not be released until at least 45 minutes have passed... Yes, I could admit that that would be thought to be vindictive on my part, but I know I don't want to accepted a damaged or faulty rifle. Especially if it puts me at the mercy of a business man I do not trust. Far better therefore to take my time even if it costs him his.

I was very impressed by a victory for Emma and Frances yesterday. The local leisure centre have decided No Card, No Entry". They wanted to take our daughters photo to put on an I.D card. Emma said "No" and with Jasmines help and backing forced the staff to concede it was wholly unnecessary and was nothing more than identity theft (Government condoned) and a breach of the right to privacy and confidentiality. There was definitely a victory, however small.

Toads Crossing At Night....

An Inhabitant Of The Millpond

Cap'n Van Winkle Chilling Out

M Jones

Robin Goodfellow - Saturday 16/04/11

Yesterday after jotting down a Diary entry, I continued in the same vein as Thursday doing whatever I felt moved me. I again visited Ayres, knowing he would be on his own and would perhaps welcome the company. Interestingly he was having a 'silent' day. Happy to listen, just not to speak, the stickers across his chest read. It seemed wrong to break the serenity, so we sat, climbed trees and swang on ropes and a rope swing. Finally, he gave me his iPod gesturing that I should listen to it. On it was Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment audio book. I closed my eyes and absorbed the words. I understood how the 'now' or present moment matters. How our inner purpose is whatever we happen to be doing and should be aligned with our inner purpose in order to bring true happiness and fulfilment.
It was with all these feelings in mind, that I demonstrated my desire to be treated, recognised and respected as the free and independent being I am and wish to be. I did this by having a cigarette. It caused Emma to exhibit ALOT of emotion and she disappeared for the afternoon. Did I feel guilty? No. I cannot own or be responsible for the feelings, thoughts, actions or deeds of any other being. I had realised, that in that moment, the only thing preventing me doing what moved me, was the thought and opinions of another.
I refuse to be ruled by any other than myself. Even if it is my partner. I explained my reasoning. At that time I also had no intention of returning to being a 'smoker'.
I believe that despite the upset, we have both benefited enormously.
To put it into context I shall quote Thoreau; "As if the sun should stop when he had kindled his fires upto the splendour of a moon or a star of the sixth magnitude, and go about like a Robin Goodfellow, peeping in at every cottage window, inspiring lunatics, and tainting meats, and making darkness visible, instead of steadily increasing his genial heat and beneficence till he is of such brightness that no mortal can look him in the face, and then, and in the mean while too, going about the world in his own orbit, doing it good, or rather, as a truer philosophy has discovered, the world going about him getting good".

To me this says, we are of the most benefit to others and ourselves, when we do that which moves us and when we follow our true genius.

Rocket Stoving A Nettle Brew.

Cap'n' Van Winkle Banging Out Some Shanties.

M Jones