The Trauma Of Change - Sunday 29/05/11

Now life is boring. Worse than that, harrowing. Four days ago, I had over 1076 acres of land to roam on. Now I have barely a quarter of one. Not even the park can sooth the sadness in my heart.
We saw more police cars on the short walk back than I have seen over the past year living where we do in Wales.
Frances is miserable. The few children playing outside appear difficult for her to connect with. In all honesty, I don't want her playing with such drones. Filled with McDonalds and Nickolodean they are junior consumers in the making. Or are they? The innocence that remains in them may be the most precious nugget of beauty left in this urban jungle.
At the park I wandered away from the manicured zone of half inch grass to the wild and tangled border of the hedgerow. Here I sought familiar beings but even the hawthorn is not the same. Already carrying berries, they are ahead of their welsh cousins and alien to me. Amongst them, species I don't recognise nor wish to familiarise myself with. I should. I may given time.
I found a lone ash tree, and my heart tore as I saw the scars and disfigured trunk. Half its height stripped of bark. Wood naked, cracked and stained. I failed to hold back the tear that rolled from my eye and down my cheek. It was I that became wounded. I who cried in pain. That tree sought no pity. Instead shoots were emerging, life's unstoppable force leaking through its cuts.

My muse has left me. I can write no more today.

Pooky Coming To Terms With Her New Environment.

M Jones

The Most Important of Gifts - Thursday 05/05/11

Yesterday I made some new friends. Zhenia, Xavier, Cai, Abbey and Mark, who stayed with Simon and Jasmine during their time at Lammas. A fact finding mission I believe, but each with their own curiosity.
From what I could gleen, Mark was most interested in how Lammas came into being and observe it in action as, like many others who visit, he wishes to found another intentional community. The difference with Mark however is, I believe he will actually do it. You can tell who is a do'er and who is a wishy washy dreamer.. (like me?)
Xavier has visited before at various stages of development and is an avid admirer of Simon's buildings and philosophies. I see great similarities between these two men. Both are very connected to the design and graphics industry, both are admirers and see beauty in their environment. This is betrayed by a shared love of photography. I feel it is this that drives such men to work with, and endeavour to conserve nature and the world around them. Both men are also wonderful to talk to, unassuming and genuine. I appear to reside in a distillery for rare and precious human qualities!
I think Cai and Abbey had a very broad and general interest in the whole project. To say they were just in it for the ride I feel would be inaccurate.
Zhenia, it transpires hails from Stroud! He told me he was employed in the research and development of vertical axis wind turbines, so I guess his was an environmental interest. Will hopefully see him again and catch up with him when we return to Stroud.

All this I learned through working and relaxing with these guys over two days. Mark was easy to connect with, this was down to both his open and friendly personality, as well as my having read his book The Moneyless Man: A Year of Freeconomic Living. This gave us common ground and enabled us to talk at length whilst digging pits for fence posts. His companions were equally as open and likeable and I hope to work with them all again in the future.

The morning of their departure, they brought and left us with the most important of gifts. No, not a copy of Marks book (although it is an important read) but rain. Much needed and strangely missed. Some would say Wales isn't Wales without it!

So thanks guys!

Thank you for your stories.
Thank you for your labour.
Thank you for bringing life back to the soil.
And thank you for restoring a countries identity.

Simon's Recently Completed Solar Water Heater.

M Jones

Terrible Wind, And Limericks - Wednesday 17/11/10

Levelling Kits foundations 14/11/10

Slaked lime to be used in the mortar 14/11/10

Kits Lime Pit 14/11/10

Slightly squeeze a ketchup bottle then open it. I dare ya.

Am so tired, I nearly put off writing this entry. Am only doing so due to my horrendous short term memory.
Earlier this week I found two adverts for static caravans. One was a really cheap and shabby one on eBay. The auction was at £75 so I over generously put what I thought was a losing bid of £400. Problem was I won the damn thing. This of course happened before I was told it would cost £750 to transport! Being the auction had a couple of days to run, I continued looking and found one in Pencader, outside Carmarthen for £600. The photos were fantastic... The caravan wasn't. Neglected for five years, the gas safety certificate said it all. Next inspection due '07. Great.
Still, I rang down the list of transport companies the man had given me. £350, £300 plus vat etc etc. Being 12ft wide meant it required an escort, thereby bumping up the price considerably.
Thoroughly dejected we returned home. It was then that I received a belated reply from one of the companies. After a bit of chit chat, it transpired they were based a couple of miles away and had a static available. They wanted £1100 but with a bit of bargaining and mostly kindheartedness on his part, he agreed to not only sell but deliver it for £900! I said we'd take a look...
That night we went to bed very much encouraged. Unfortunately, it wasn't just our spirits that were high that night. After buffeting us steadily, at 05:00 the wind finally ripped up the awning and flung it over the caravan in an almighty cacophony of bending steel, tearing fabric, catapulted belongings, falling tables and finally a thump of sodden canvas slapped over the roof of the caravan.
Shit.
My first thought was... f**k it. I'll deal with it in the morning.
Until I realised canvas was smothering the chimney of our freshly stoked fire. Bollocks.
So out in to the roaring abyss I went to sort out one god awful mess and salvage whatever could be saved. Just doing the minimum took an hour with Ayres' help.

The Morning After.

The Battered Cowling.

Like the Titanic, I too could've avoided disaster...

Neither Al Qeada nor Hitler was responsible. Hard to believe I know.

Not the view I paid for...

Still, it sparked a limerick.

There once was a caravan in Wales,

That was subject to terrible gales,

They woke up one morning, minus an Awning,

With only an outline of Bales...

The most part of today was spent mopping up, and eventually re-erecting a rather poorly awning.

You've heard of that caravan in Wales,

That was subject to terrible gales,

Well the awnings back on,

The wind and rain have now gone,

And silenced the groans and the wails.

Job done I went to start the car ready for viewing the static. But there was more... prompting this message to Emma.

We own a small caravan in Wales,

About which people have heard many tales,

Please don't think me mean, or cause a scene,

But i've just found a crack in our windscreen.

I suspect a leak around the glass allowed water to freeze resulting in a vehicular form of frost heave.

Finally, we viewed this static.

Was in a small mess inside having just been transported. The big plus with this is it was in service on a holiday park until this summer. The only downside was a missing vent cap lost in transit had allowed water in the kitchen. Tomorrow the vendor is coming to approve our proposed transport route with the driver, before we commit to anything. If it gets the go ahead i'll be bloody relieved.

Relayed our woes to friends and family and received this reply from our old neighbour.

There once was a couple from Stroud,

Who decided to break from the crowd.

Although their new life,

was full of trouble and strife,

Of themselves they were very proud.

Although it contains an 'inside' joke, I couldn't resist a retort.

There once was an actor next door,

Whose performances left us in awe.

We do miss him so,

but we just had to go.

And hope he wears clothes a bit more.

So life is currently a rollercoaster of highs and lows right now. My day turned to night as I screwed the awning skirting into some logs reinforced with batons to prevent it shredding itself. knowing our luck right now, it will only serve to form a deadly volley of missiles smashing through our roof the next time God farts.

Aww well, one more limerick then bed.

For Nigel, my number one fan, who believes I should be crowned Lammas poet laureate.

We live just outside the Presellis,

To Narbeth we take all our smellies.

The wind is a pain, so is the rain,

If you come, you'd better bring wellies.

M Jones

Changing the Game - Monday 08/11/10

A game changing day. Emma had been feeling 'off' for the past few days. Being past her sell by date and having inclinations towards incubation, we took a trip to Crymych at 09:00 to get a pregnancy test.

The result was "Pregnant 3+"

A flurry of text messaging to random folk and an emergency meeting with Ayres and Marianne. Frances took it upon herself to spill the beans before we had a chance, and subsequently faced Emma's wrath.
A serious talk about the whole thing brought forth many ideas and potential possibilities, the main one being to consult Paul and Hoppi. Paul knows the ins and outs of both the planning and the leasehold agreements. therefore is it even feasible for Lammas to absorb another family? It was only designed and got permission for nine. We are looking for long term stability along the lines of 2-5 years. This being the case, i simply don't feel Lammas is the place. We do have an offer from another plotholder that would grants us that, but to accept this would fly in the face of rules and policies. As always one can manipulate such things but its definitely not a practice i wish to engage in.
Here's the truth. We have no right to be here. To remain beyond Spring would tread on toes and upset people we've come to hold dear, and whose generosity has known no bounds thus far. Once more i am writing lists of options and at this moment in time, here they are;

1) Remain in or near Lammas. kits plot verbally guaranteed for two years. Possibility of more living space in the form of a static caravan. Other options and possibilities could evolve from this, but mindful of aforementioned factors.

2) Tipi Valley. Plenty of experience in residents r.e. Homebirths. Poor access to lower valley - emergencies. Ideally a yurt to live in. Would entail logistics moving our life and home. Would be guaranteed for as many years as we'd require. We have visited and know people there.

3) Join a different community. Tinkers Bubble? Would be an unknown unless we used the time we have to make prior visits.

4) Go back home. Ideally rent/buy/get permission to reside on land in a caravan or yurt. Alot of unknowns.

5) Sell out and return to the system be it in Wales or back in Stroud. For me, the least desirable of all. Benefits could be seen as wide and numerous, but at a vast cost spiritually, morally and financially.

6) Squat on land. Extremely unstable. Many variables and unknowns. One important disadvantage, we'd be on our own...

7) Buy our own land. a big ask financially. would require major help from family. Unlikely in probability and unlikely to be finalised in time frame.

8) Wait and see...

Listing is useful. But inconclusive. Will follow option 8 for now. I feel immense pressure to properly lead this family, and lead it well. Its bewildering and overwhelming now. One realisation is that, at this point, nothing has changed. The considerations, yes. But as those who've read previously will know, the options haven't really changed. I've created a mental pressure that has left my stomach knotted and mind exhausted.
If anything, this news has become a catalyst.
Will have to ransom this grandchild if money is the answer.
Hopefully a good hour of football tonight will help clear this over active brain.


M Jones

Barley shoots growing from a bale weighting our awning down.

Mushrooms... Unmagical ones...