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Changing the Game - Monday 08/11/10

A game changing day. Emma had been feeling 'off' for the past few days. Being past her sell by date and having inclinations towards incubation, we took a trip to Crymych at 09:00 to get a pregnancy test.

The result was "Pregnant 3+"

A flurry of text messaging to random folk and an emergency meeting with Ayres and Marianne. Frances took it upon herself to spill the beans before we had a chance, and subsequently faced Emma's wrath.
A serious talk about the whole thing brought forth many ideas and potential possibilities, the main one being to consult Paul and Hoppi. Paul knows the ins and outs of both the planning and the leasehold agreements. therefore is it even feasible for Lammas to absorb another family? It was only designed and got permission for nine. We are looking for long term stability along the lines of 2-5 years. This being the case, i simply don't feel Lammas is the place. We do have an offer from another plotholder that would grants us that, but to accept this would fly in the face of rules and policies. As always one can manipulate such things but its definitely not a practice i wish to engage in.
Here's the truth. We have no right to be here. To remain beyond Spring would tread on toes and upset people we've come to hold dear, and whose generosity has known no bounds thus far. Once more i am writing lists of options and at this moment in time, here they are;

1) Remain in or near Lammas. kits plot verbally guaranteed for two years. Possibility of more living space in the form of a static caravan. Other options and possibilities could evolve from this, but mindful of aforementioned factors.

2) Tipi Valley. Plenty of experience in residents r.e. Homebirths. Poor access to lower valley - emergencies. Ideally a yurt to live in. Would entail logistics moving our life and home. Would be guaranteed for as many years as we'd require. We have visited and know people there.

3) Join a different community. Tinkers Bubble? Would be an unknown unless we used the time we have to make prior visits.

4) Go back home. Ideally rent/buy/get permission to reside on land in a caravan or yurt. Alot of unknowns.

5) Sell out and return to the system be it in Wales or back in Stroud. For me, the least desirable of all. Benefits could be seen as wide and numerous, but at a vast cost spiritually, morally and financially.

6) Squat on land. Extremely unstable. Many variables and unknowns. One important disadvantage, we'd be on our own...

7) Buy our own land. a big ask financially. would require major help from family. Unlikely in probability and unlikely to be finalised in time frame.

8) Wait and see...

Listing is useful. But inconclusive. Will follow option 8 for now. I feel immense pressure to properly lead this family, and lead it well. Its bewildering and overwhelming now. One realisation is that, at this point, nothing has changed. The considerations, yes. But as those who've read previously will know, the options haven't really changed. I've created a mental pressure that has left my stomach knotted and mind exhausted.
If anything, this news has become a catalyst.
Will have to ransom this grandchild if money is the answer.
Hopefully a good hour of football tonight will help clear this over active brain.

M Jones

Barley shoots growing from a bale weighting our awning down.

Mushrooms... Unmagical ones...

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