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Really 'Living The Dream' - Thursday 28/07/11

The marriage between myself and my newly acquired TX200 has bourne fruit. Levi and I decided to forego sleep so that we could go a-hunting at sunrise 05:25. About half to three quarters of an hour in,  I shot a young rabbit. We had opportunities at squirrels and another rabbit but for me the purpose of our outing had already been fulfilled. One rabbit was all we needed.
I find it ironic that to date my hunting experience has bucked the ".177 for feather, .22 for fur" adage.
Despite the fatigue, this morning was a welcome return to the life and activities that make me feel alive. Regardless of 'trophies' the experience of acute awareness and presence makes the whole venture extremely pleasant and satisfying for me.
That one small rabbit put meat on the plates of my family (solid food eating members).

The salted hide.

The head and paws went to the Badgers and Cats. I regret giving away the head away as the brain is a natural tanning agent.

Meat left to soak overnight in fresh water. Not sure it was necessary as the rabbit was under a year old.

On the subject of returning, it was Emma that brought my attention to the fact that yesterday marked 365 days since our arrival at Lammas. What we call a year. Very convenient considering that I am nearing the end of this, my third, notebook.
This is also a good point, in light of the above, to pause and reflect upon the journey.
My recent activities are a dream manifested. Providing food for my family. A role many like me wish to fulfill physically. A fulfillment that just doesn't seem to come from turning labour into debt, debt into food. Therefore, I can truly say with conviction and feeling, that I am 'living the dream'. In absolute contrast to the time I wrote those words 365 days ago. I have learned that a dream is realised now, and can only be done so in the moment called now. Dreams are never realised in the future regardless of what self imposed conditions are satisfied. What other moment is there but now?
That is not to advise haste, it is but truth. How you translate that into meaning is for you to decide.

What would you be doing/Where would you be if you fulfilled your 'dream'?
I believe a 'dream' is better described as a persons preferred reality. The word 'dream' commonly denotes something elusive, intangible, even 'unrealistic'. There is also a warning, or rather a consideration. That is cost.
If you are thorough, your payment will be all that you do not need,use or care for. If you do not approach the attainment and creation of your preferred reality in any way but a holistic one, you risk losing something of great value (I don't mean just monetary) and importance.
Listen to your heart and intuition that,for me, has been a practice that has guided and I believe, ensured that I have gained things of immense and immeasurable value.
I was prepared to make large sacrifices. At the earliest stage the largest potential one was my partner and family. Luckily, through open communication with my daughter and her mother, it was not a sacrifice I was called upon to make. By keeping that communication open, we moulded and adapted the shared vision to encompass the needs of us all. I believe I am at the point where I am not chasing the desire/dream, but it is evolving around and with me.
I am still susceptible to all the same emotions as I was before, the difference certainly with the negative ones, is that if they do occur they are not as severe and are very short lived. If emotions are the body's reflection of the mind, then it must be that what thoughts I have, are more positive. By not painting over the cracks with drugs , by addressing the root of what ailed me, the condition known as depression is no longer a part of my world.
More requests for my books are materialising. This brings me happiness and great honour. I thank all those who afford me the pleasure and opportunity to give. I hope by gifting my books to all those who ask, requesting they pass it on, I am paying it forward and perpetuating that positiveness and feeling.
To all those who have cared to read my work, you have my sincere gratitude.
Much love, to you, those who have yet to, and those who may never read this. We are as one.


M Jones.

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